RA Los Angeles Meeting Format
Welcome to the _______ Meeting of Rageaholics Anonymous. My name is __________ and I am a rageaholic and your secretary for the evening. This is a mixed meeting, open to anyone who has a desire to stop expressing his or her anger.
o May we have a moment of silence followed by the Serenity Prayer?
God, Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
o Will the person asked, please read The RA Preamble?
We invite you to discover the warmth and friendship in our weekly RA meetings that is so important for achieving and maintaining peace and tranquility in our lives. Our program of recovery is one that works. Here you will find the "Twelve Steps" which have been our key to a new way of life. Many of you will think it is too much to ask and that it won't work for you. We only ask that you give it a fraction of the time and energy you've put into raging and being angry. As we begin to follow these suggestions, our lives improve and our bouts of anger decrease. Ours is a program of action. Daily doing what is outlined here rather than just talking about it seems to produce results. With God's help we move away from our anger and rage into a fellowship of recovering friends.
o Will the person asked please read How It Works?
o Will the person asked please read The 12 Traditions?
o Will the person asked please read the Abstinence Statement?
o Will the person asked please read The Characteristics of Rageaholism.
o Will the person asked please read Triggers of Rageaholism.
Everyone is welcome in RA. We have discovered that no one's experience with anger or rage is unique, but some of us have unique symptoms or co-occurring conditions that contribute to our anger and rage. The ability to manage anger and rage affects people of all ages and backgrounds. Anger does not discriminate because of age, sex, religion, race, income, or occupation. We may have come to RA simply because our life with repressed anger was uncomfortable and we were looking for a better way of life. Or we may have been in the depths of despair because of our uncontrolled and seemingly unmanageable raging, been in therapy, hospitalized or even in jail. We may have found ourselves dependent on medication, other drugs, or alcohol.
Why do we continue to come to meetings week after week?
We come weekly to develop a new set of spiritual tools that helps us to recognize the emotions and stop the behaviors that get us into trouble before they take over and control us. We each do this by sharing what works or does not.
o If there are any newcomers, please introduce yourselves on a first name basis. ___________. Welcome. We ask you to attend at least six meetings before you make any judgment about us. Then if you are not fully satisfied, we will gladly refund all of your misery. See _____ after the meeting for some helpful literature.
o Now is the time for general introductions. If you have already introduced yourself, please do so again. My name is and I am a rageaholic.
Reading: In this meeting, we read a step from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous or 15 minutes from Angerbusting 101 by Newton Hightower. Each of us will read a paragraph or so, then passing the book on. After the reading we will open the meeting up for sharing. Today we will read from ________. Would someone like to begin today’s reading starting on page ___?
Sharing: Now is the time for sharing. No one is required to talk. Anyone can simply "pass." The first rule for anger management is to "disengage" and try to cool off. Therefore, if someone, for any reason, begins to feel angry during the meeting, we ask that you excuse yourself and leave quietly. No questions will be asked. You will be welcomed back at the next meeting with loving acceptance as someone who is learning to manage your anger.
When sharing, we each take turns and share our own experiences, strengths and hopes about the step, topic and/or any other anger situation that we are experiencing. We use “I” statements, not you statements. What we said and how we felt at the time is very important, not what we did. It is suggested that the person sharing refrain from getting into graphic details, explanations, or justifications for his or her angry behavior. Such descriptions often trigger the person sharing and members of the group. If one of our members raises a hand during a share, please take this as a gentle reminder to stop talking in specifics and go back to the general problem and its solution or to stop speaking entirely and cool down.
Personal Responsibility Statement
Anger is an inevitable part of life and it comes from within us. Usually we are responding or overreacting to something or someone that has violated our expectations, values or perspectives. Either what is happening is NOT what we want or what we want is NOT happening. Therefore we get mad and strike out.
Anger is an individual problem. While this is a WE program, each person’s anger is his or her own and the group can not control or manage you or anyone else for that matter. We must do the managing ourselves with God’s help. One of the reasons each of us comes here is to learn "how NOT to co-sign someone else's BS” (join them in their anger situation).
Therefore, we ask that you respect our tradition of no cross talk, or advice giving, unless the person asks. Even then only one person should give it. Other feedback can be given after the meeting, if and only if, the person wishes it from you. The reason for this is because it takes the focus off of ourselves and what we need to do for ourselves and our anger situations. Trying to fix, manage or control others is what got us into trouble in the first place. What we are trying to do at this meeting is learn how to let God fix, manage and control the most important person here -- ourselves.
This is a round robin meeting. I will choose the first person to share and we will go around the room tag style. Participants will have a total of four minutes to share with a beep after 3 minutes reminding you to wrap it up. Who would like to start?
That’s all the time we have for shares. It’s now time to practice the 7th Tradition, which states that every RA group ought to be self-supporting, declining outside contributions. There are not dues or fees but we do have expenses.
Are there any RA-related announcements? (Literature person announces literature; Secretary announces future business meeting issues.)
Are there any sobriety anniversaries?
Let’s acknowledge the newcomers .
Thanks also to those who do service at this meeting, our readers and everyone for participating.
Closing: If you are here for the first time, and would like to add your phone number to our list, please do. For those who have been here before, please phone those who are absent and encourage their attendance at the next meeting. Contact with others is a vital part of our recovery, and serves as a helpful reminder that they are missed and attendance is important - for us and for them.
Maintain contact during the week with your sponsor, co-sponsor, coach, recovery partner or someone who is supportive of what you are doing. An alternative to meeting in person is talking on the telephone. You are encouraged to attend other twelve-step meetings as a part of your journey. EA, ADDA, OCA, CODA etc.
If we sincerely want to change our lifestyle, we will use the Steps daily. Continuing to interact with others in recovery reminds us that we are the same in terms of anger - that everyone gets upset occasionally and no one is always 'right.' Through this awareness, we develop the ability to forgive, understand and love others for who and where they are in their lives. We will grow to see how pointless it is to become angry, allow others to inflict emotional pain on us, and harbor resentments. If we commit to working the Steps and staying in contact with others, we will gain a sense of dignity and respect for others and ourselves.
Remember that our 12th Tradition states, “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all of our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.
Will the person asked please read The RA Promises.
We do Affirmations at this meeting. Please read one from the list, make up one of your own, or pass.
As we close, we ask the God of our understanding for guidance by saying together The Prayer for Overcoming Anger:
Dear God, Sometimes my anger is overpowering,
When I lose control to this negative emotion I know I only hurt myself and others,
Please give me the courage to replace this anger with patience and understanding,
Guide my words and actions so that I may avoid causing pain and harm,
Strengthen me to remain on the path of harmony and loving detachment,
Thank you for your gentle guidance.
Amen
After a moment of silence, will ___ please lead us in the Serenity Prayer?